Many Christian leaders look to the biblical character Nehemiah for inspiration. His story—rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem amidst life-threatening opposition—is well known. With unwavering faith, he completed a seemingly impossible task because he believed deeply in the call God had placed on his life.
But beyond the big, dramatic moments of his leadership, there’s a more intimate and often overlooked scene that has shaped my approach to leadership. It’s found in Nehemiah 5:17–18:
“Furthermore, a hundred and fifty Jews and officials ate at my table, as well as those who came to us from the surrounding nations. Each day one ox, six choice sheep and some poultry were prepared for me, and every ten days an abundant supply of wine of all kinds. In spite of all this, I never demanded the food allotted to the governor, because the demands were heavy on these people.”
To my mind, this is servant leadership at its finest.
Not only did Nehemiah reject the privileges normally afforded to someone in his position, but he also used his personal resources to provide for his leadership team. Can you imagine being a fly on the wall at that daily barbecue? No wonder his team served alongside him with such loyalty and sacrifice.
A Leader Who Empowers
Nehemiah understood that the secret of great leadership is to serve and empower others to fulfill the calling God has placed on their lives. By setting a generous table, he wasn’t just feeding people—he was multiplying his impact through the leaders around him.
That’s my dream, too.
As the African Development Director for The Message Trust, I’ve felt called to empower and equip emerging African leaders. In my context, that means laying a table of resources, opportunities, and support—a place where others can thrive and grow.
A Table for the Continent
Recently, we took a significant step toward that vision by hosting our first Africa Leaders Summit in Cape Town, South Africa. We gathered over 20 leaders from 11 African countries—each one passionate about reaching their communities with the hope of Jesus.
Our goals were simple but powerful:
Foster unity
Learn from one another
Launch an African Leaders Network to strengthen our shared mission
Our desire is to reach the least, last, and lost with the Good News of Jesus—and to see them flourish in both faith and life. This summit was just the beginning.
Worship, Wisdom, and a Shared Vision
Some of my favorite moments from the summit were during worship and prayer. We praised God in unity while expressing our diversity in language, culture, and style. It was a beautiful glimpse of the Church in all its richness.
Another highlight was simply listening—hearing how God is moving in different regions of the continent. The depth of insight and quality of conversation was truly inspiring.
Support the Movement
Please pray for the continued development of our Africa Leaders Network. If you’d like more information or want to get involved, feel free to reach out.
I’ll close with a powerful quote from one of our summit delegates:
“Meeting people from diverse backgrounds and different countries was truly enriching. It provided a unique opportunity to learn from one another’s experiences, cultures, and perspectives. These interactions not only broadened my understanding of global issues but also fostered meaningful connections that I hope will grow into lasting partnerships.”
The first Message Africa Leaders Summit, with delegates representing South Africa, Zimbabwe, Uganda, Nigeria, Togo, Gabon, Ghana, DRC, Ethiopia, Ivory Coast, Kenya and UK.
Leading with Exponential Impact was the workshop I presented at the recent Exponential Global Conference* in Orlando, Florida. Exponential gathers 6,000 church planters, church leaders and ministry leaders from across the U.S., together with a scattering of participants from other countries (like me). The theme for this year’s conference was Good, Great, Greater, based upon Jesus’ words in John 14:12:
‘Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.‘
The plenary sessions applied the theme to leadership, church planting and urban mission. A couple of hundred workshops helped delegates explore various aspects of the theme. I attended diverse workshops relating to spiritual growth, developing diverse teams and event management. One of the highlights for me was being part of the ministry team that prayed for hundreds of people on the final morning, commissioning them for greater impact in their lives and ministry.
In my workshop, I built upon the Effortless theme (which I’ve previously written about on this blog – click here for the articles) and considered our biblical mandate to lead with exponential impact, meaning fruitfulness beyond our efforts. The mainstream view of leadership suggests that rewards are directly proportional to our efforts. However, as Christ-centered servant leaders, I believe the Bible teaches us to expect greater fruit, not in the form of personal rewards, but in the impact we have for the Kingdom.
For this to happen, we need to have a paradigm shift in how we lead. In my workshop, I proposed that this shift has three key elements, as illustrated in the image below.
I will unpack each of these shifts in upcoming articles. However, to pique your interest, you can view my slides from the presentation by clicking the download link below.
The worship, the opportunity to engage with passionate believers, and the pursuit of the Holy Spirit made this conference an incredibly valuable experience. My biggest takeaway can be summed up by this quote from Andrew Murray:
‘God’s children, in the first place, require a revival – a new revelation by the Holy Spirit of what is the hope of their calling, of what God does indeed expect from them, and of the life of power and consecration, of joy and fruitfulness, which God has prepared for them in Christ.’**
If you were asked, ‘What kind of leadership do we need in the 21st century?’ I wonder what your answer would be. More specifically, how can we, as Christ-centered servant leaders, have the greatest missional impact in this historical moment of uncertainty, strife, and anxiety?
This verse has been at the forefront of my mind over the past few months:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
It strikes me that this verse helps define servant leadership.
Christ-like servant leaders are equipped to comfort others because they have received the comfort of a loving heavenly Father. However, providing comfort doesn’t sound like the kind of gung-ho leadership that’s so highly valued in the 21st century. It wouldn’t make the front cover of the leadership guru books we find in mainstream bookstores, which often seem to need an expletive to become a best-seller.
And yet, in a world full of pain, we serve people best by comforting them in their trouble with the comfort that we have received from God.
Paul isn’t talking about mere sympathy—a pat on the back and telling people to hang in there because it will be alright in the end. We are not to deal in platitudes or greeting card slogans. Rather, this kind of comfort is an inner strengthening through wise counsel and deep encouragement. It is faith-fueled and hope-filled, coming from a place of deep empathy. It is committed to walking alongside someone as they navigate their painful experiences.
When we provide this kind of comfort, we are engaging in Trinitarian ministry. The word Paul repeatedly uses in this passage is paraklesis. Translated here as comfort, it is the same word used to describe the Holy Spirit as our Helper in John 14:16 and of Jesus as our Advocate in 1 John 2:1. The Father, the Holy Spirit, and the Son are our comfort, help, and advocate. As servant leaders, we extend this ministry to others. We are comforters, helpers and advocates to those going through difficulties.
Our qualification for this ministry is not based on our title or academic credentials. We are equipped for this ministry through our experience. Everyone who has received the comfort of the loving and compassionate Father of our Lord Jesus Christ is equipped to extend that comfort to others.
This is the counter-cultural nature of biblical leadership. It is the original pay-it-forward model of leadership. We pass on to others what we have received, igniting a movement of compassionate support that equips people to flourish in faith and life. This is how the mission of God will expand in the world: through this kind of servant leadership in action.
Becoming a biblical servant leader is a long, winding journey of faith. Along the way, we reach one personal growth milestone only to start heading toward the next. As we grow and mature in wisdom, we learn every step leads away from self and toward Christ. More of him, less of us! The seven biblical “requirements” below are intended to help you take your own next steps. While there are many others that could be added, I pray this checklist spurs you to chase after the Lord’s wisdom, no matter what leadership level you’ve already reached.
Ground yourself in God’s Word
Biblical leadership begins with a solid foundation in Scripture. Regularly reading, studying, and reflecting on God’s Word provides us with divine guidance, spiritual strength, and an eternal perspective. The Bible not only informs our decisions, it transforms our character so we can lead others in the direction of God’s will.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” —Psalm 119:105
Question: How often do I read the Bible?
Cultivate spiritual disciplines
Prayer, fellowship, discipleship, service, and sharing our faith are spiritual “habits” that keep us connected to the Lord. By making these disciplines a natural part of our routine, we’ll grow in faith, rely on the Holy Spirit’s power, and model a lifestyle that inspires others.
“Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” —1 Timothy 4:7-8
Question: Is it time to begin a new spiritual habit?
Control your tongue and speak with grace
Leaders influence others through their words, so how we speak matters deeply. A godly leader avoids harshness and gossip, seeking instead to encourage, bless, and strengthen. Gracious, truthful words foster trust, unity, and respect among those we lead.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…” —Ephesians 4:29
Question: Do I need to be more gracious and patient with people?
Embrace humility and a servant’s heart
Biblical leaders don’t chase the spotlight. Jesus set the ultimate example by humbling himself and serving those around Him. By prioritizing the needs of others—lifting them up rather than seeking our own honor—we’ll cultivate genuine trust and loyalty.
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve…” —Mark 10:45
Question: When was the last time I let someone take credit for my work?
Practice love and forgiveness
Love is the hallmark of every true disciple. When our leadership is driven by love, we’ll approach people with kindness, patience, and understanding. As we forgive others—just as God has forgiven us—we break down barriers, heal relationships, and create an environment where everyone can thrive.
“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” —Colossians 3:13
Question: Do I need to be more forgiving of others?
Use authority to build others up
Our leadership roles may grant us authority, but it’s never a license to dominate. Instead, we should use our positions to serve, strengthen, and uplift. Encouraging others and entrusting them with responsibilities not only develops their gifts but also reveals Christlike leadership that honors God and dignifies people.
“…the authority the Lord gave us for building you up rather than tearing you down…” —2 Corinthians 10:8
Question: How am I doing with delegating to others?
Seek wisdom and follow Christ’s example
True servant leadership requires ongoing growth. We need to spend time with wise mentors, remain teachable, and pray for God’s guidance. Above all, we should look to Jesus—study how he lived, how he loved, and how he led. Aligning our lives with his example ensures that our influence points people toward the Kingdom, the most important goal for any biblical leader.
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” —1 Corinthians 11:1
Question: Do I actively seek to grow in wisdom, or do I just passively learn from experience?
As we practice these seven requirements and rely on the Holy Spirit’s help, we’ll discover that leading like Christ means wisely seeking the benefit of everyone we have the privilege to serve. It also means leading people into their own relationship with Jesus, helping them grow in their faith, and always having a Kingdom perspective.
Final question: Which exhortation from the list above will you work on next?
May you be blessed on your journey!
Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city. —Ecclesiastes 7:19 (NIV)
I find that humorous because, at no point, have I ever been described as “pizzazzy.” One of my mentors likes to remind me that I’m “low energy.” He’d like me to work on my pizzazz.
I understand the pizzazz attraction. (I’m referring to charisma – if my word threw you.) We’ve all been in rooms where someone walks in and immediately grabs and holds everyone’s attention. They’ve got “it” as they say in Hollywood.
So, I work on my pizzazz skills. It’s easier to be “it” than “not it.” Also, I think it’s good to keep working on things and improving. But here’s the thing: I built success without stacks of pizzazz. Being steady, objective, and unflappable are valuable traits.
So, while a magnetic charisma is handy – it isn’t necessary.
You don’t need charisma to be a fantastically effective leader
If you naturally burst with charisma, good for you. I mean that. Use it. It will definitely make some things much easier. If you don’t have it, it won’t hurt to spice things up a bit.
But you don’t have to be charismatic. Charismatic leaders have their unique challenges.
Because I have more nerd in me than charisma – I like to wander through the research on topics. Here are the facts about charisma:
Charisma doesn’t guarantee effectiveness:
It’s a good ingredient to have. However organizational success requires more. And you can be successful without it. So, it’s like icing on the cake. Charisma is a ‘nice to have’ – not necessary. Numerous studies have found that charisma is not a reliable predictor of a leader’s performance or a company’s profitability.[1][4]
Other qualities matter much more:
Jim Collins highlighted this in his book Good to Great. Leaders of companies that sustainably outperform both their competition and the market were not described as charismatic. They largely escaped being recognized as ‘celebrity leaders’. Attitudes like humility and a passion to help the whole organization win were what rose to the top. Competencies like strategic thinking, decision-making, and motivating others have, elsewhere, been found to be more important than charisma.[4][5][6]
People confuse charisma with impact:
Followers tend to attribute extraordinary qualities to leaders they perceive as charismatic, even when the leader’s actual impact is negligible. This ‘rose-coloured glasses’ / infatuated view of some leaders leads to an overemphasis on charisma. Leaders with high charisma, who are otherwise ineffective, can still be perceived to be effective. This is important to keep in mind when considering advancement or succession. Don’t get blinded by a charismatic leader’s beauty – so to speak.[2]
Charismatic leaders struggle to build commitment:
What is easily won is easily lost. Charismatic leaders can wow an audience with their visionary abilities. Often they easily inspire a superficial level of commitment. But that commitment tends to be unstable over time. I used the word ‘infatuation’ earlier. The result is a tendency for these leaders to keep the infatuation going – by doing ‘charismatic’ things to attempt to renew their admirer’s commitment. Another word for this can be drama. Nothing like a white knight swooping in to save everyone from a disaster (that, too often, they allowed or created.) [3]
Charismatic leaders can lean on toxic behaviours:
Charismatic leaders who haven’t built a robust set of leadership skills and emotional maturity can tend to just lean in on their charisma. This can cause them to surround themselves with people who enable toxic behaviours like narcissism, authoritarianism, and unethical conduct. This is especially true if these leaders face minimal accountability.[1][5]
Research indicates that effective leadership stems from competencies rather than charisma alone.
But I am a charismatic leader. What do I do?
Develop genuine character and integrity. Cultivate strong moral principles, cultivate authenticity, and practice humility.
Place yourself in a position of accountability. Specifically with people who aren’t ‘wowed’ by you. If this isn’t at work, find a mentor, a coach, or a peer group of caring but unimpressed people whom you respect.
Build wisdom, knowledge, and competence. Develop actual expertise, strategic thinking abilities, and decision-making skills.
Deliver meaningful results and impact. Follow through and produce positive outcomes that benefit the organization and its stakeholders.
Build trust through compassion and consideration of others. Balance your confidence with humility, empathy, and concern for the interests of others.
Engage in continual self-improvement and learning from mistakes. Build the self-awareness to identify areas for growth, learn from failures, and evolve your leadership.
Conclusion
Effective leadership doesn’t require charisma. It requires character and competency. Dependence on charisma can create real problems for leaders. But charisma, if combined with character and competency is a killer combo. (Check out that alliteration!)
Christian Muntean has helped hundreds of businesses rapidly grow, increase profitability, and expand impact. He primarily works with entrepreneurial business leaders who are scaling their businesses or preparing for exit or succession. He partners with owners, boards, and executive teams as they make game-changing decisions.
Earlier this year I was asked to contribute an article to the Lausanne Movement as they prepare for their global congress in South Korea later this year. It was a privilege to have my article published in July.
The Lausanne Movement has been at the cutting edge of global missions since the 1970s. Their website states,
With a rich history spanning over five decades, the Lausanne Movement has been at the forefront of global mission through fostering Christian collaboration, platforming missional strategy, and equipping leaders and influencers to fulfil the Great Commission.
I have greatly admired the Lausanne Movement – though largely as a consumer of their content rather than an active participant. It was, therefore, an incredible privilege to be invited to attend the African and Middle East regional conference in Ethiopia in November 2023. I’m really looking forward to participating in the fourth global congress in September 2024.
Michael Oh, the Global Executive Director of the Lausanne Movement says:
Lausanne 4 is a multi-year, global, polycentric process facilitated by the platform of Lausanne, towards catalytic collaboration of the global church, for the discipling of all nations and the shaping of the world in 2050.
I feel this is a compelling vision and one that requires a high commitment to partnership and collaboration. The movement’s fourfold vision is to see ‘the gospel for every person, disciple-making churches for every people and place, Christ-like leaders for every church and sector, and kingdom impact in every sphere of society‘. It is encouraging that Christ-like leadership lies at the heart of Lausanne’s vision. So, although my article is just one contribution to a larger body of work that has been developed over many years, it was wonderful to have the opportunity to encourage everyone within the Lausanne movement to grab a towel and follow Christ’s example.
I was leaving the auditorium feeling inspired. I was at the Exponential conference in Orlando and had just heard Jossy Chacko speak. He shared about a movement of transformational leaders that are planting churches all across India and beyond. While reflecting on what had been shared, some volunteers thrust a book into my hand. It was Jossy’s autobiography – Madness. I’ve just finished reading the book and loved reading about his journey. As he shares about his faith, his move to Australia, establishing the ministry of Empart, and his vision to plant thousands upon thousands of churches, he weaves leadership lessons that have equipped him to grow such a fruitful ministry.
Whenever I finish a book, I go through it and copy out quotes and sections that have made an impression on me. As I reviewed Madness, I was struck by the alignment between what Jossy was sharing and the eight hallmarks of Christ-centred servant leadership that are the foundation of Grab a Towel. Therefore, I thought it a great opportunity to recap these hallmarks and emphasise them through relevant quotes from Jossy’s book.
Grab a Towel Hallmark 1: Christ-centred servant leaders increasingly display the character of Christ.
Jossy writes, “Leaders don’t fail because of lack of information, they fail because they lack character.”
Jossy Chacko, 2008:127
Grab a Towel Hallmark 2: Christ-centred servant leaders have a Gospel-focused vision that continues God’s work on earth.
Jossy writes, “Cast a big enough vision. A big-enough vision is one that makes you wonder, ‘is this too big?!’ It’s one that keeps you awake at night and energised during the day. A big-enough vision has ample space for others to join you and it requires ongoing miracles to continue.”
Jossy Chacko, 2008:92
Grab a Towel Hallmark 3: Christ-centred servant leaders are faithful stewards of the Gospel and their gifts in their generation.
Jossy writes, “Faithfulness involves multiplying what you have been given. Faithfulness and fruitfulness are two sides of the same coin. In God’s eyes, you cannot be faithful without being fruitful.”
Jossy Chacko 2008:65
Grab a Towel Hallmark 4: Christ-centred servant leaders catalyse other leaders through growing in maturity.
Jossy writes, “The level to which God can use you is directly proportional to the level of your surrender to him.”
and
“Don’t let the little things you don’t know hold you back from the big things you know to be true… To live a lifestyle of significance is to give yourself away… Our challenge is to discover and align all that we are and all that we have to that which God has already prepared.”
Jossy Chacko, 2008:55,113
Grab a Towel Hallmark 5: Christ-centred servant leaders put people before programmes, projects and profit.
Jossy writes, “Most of the time we are so self-focused that we miss the things that God put around us… To be less self-aware and more others-aware is to become like Jesus.”
and
“Invest in people not projects. It is easy to become too invested in a project close to your heart. Instead, invest in the people leading the projects.”
Jossy Chacko 2008:80, 221
Grab a Towel Hallmark 6: Christ-centred servant leaders empower others to fulfil their potential.
Jossy writes, “I came to believe that the quality and success of missionaries should not be determined by how long they stayed on the field, but by how briefly they stayed, and how strategic they were in developing national leaders and sustainable infrastructure… Missionaries and outside workers must be like a scaffolding: once the building is done, it must be removed and relocated to the next site.”
and
“As a leader, my job is to create an atmosphere where good ideas can flourish.”
Jossy Chacko 2008:96, 185
Grab a Towel Hallmark 7: Christ-centred servant leaders are motivated by compassionate love for others.
Jossy writes, “It is not either just about preaching nor is it just about meeting a need; we need to do both social and spiritual transformation. Jesus never separated the Good Commandment and the Great Commission; to him these were two sides of the same coin.”
and
“Christ-like compassion compels us to care for the lost and the needy, giving people the answer to both problems.”
Jossy Chacko 2009:121, 122
Grab a Towel Hallmark 8: Christ-centred servant leaders have the steely resolve to persevere.
Jossy writes, “I strongly believe that a person’s leadership capacity is determined by their capacity to bear pain” (Chacko 2008:204).
and
“Let struggle refine you. Character is rarely developed in comfort; it is tested and refined by struggles. Hardship and trials are the most fertile ground for character formation and leadership development” (Chacko 2008:41).
Jossy Chacko 2008:204, 41
I hope you have been inspired by this sample of quotes. Leaders like Jossy raise the bar as they themselves seek to follow the example of Jesus. Find out more about Jossy Chacko here: https://jossychacko.org/.
All quotes are taken from the 2008 edition of Madness.
In The Force of Focus part 1, I highlighted the need and priority to be able to focus. This is my theme for the year and I’m addressing one of the primary challenges that I face: the challenge of how I keep my focus on what matters most when there are so many things that can distract me. I’m seeking to address the following challenges that I/we face as leaders:
How do we keep our focus in a world where there are so many things vying for our attention?
How do we focus when there are so many good things we could be doing as there are so many needs we could be addressing?
How do we avoid the pitfalls that so many leaders seem to stumble into, the more nefarious distractions that can compromise our integrity and derail our growth and impact?
And how, as Christ-centred servant leaders, do we follow the example of Jesus so that we can remain focused on Him for the long haul, committing our lives to fulfilling the tasks that He has set out for us to accomplish (Eph. 2:10)?
In this article, I want to provide some practical steps we can take to maintain our focus in a world of distractions. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but some principles I’m seeking to apply in my life and leadership.
Run from Danger I think this is perhaps the best piece of advice we can give anyone in leadership. It seems that so many leaders want to live on the edge of what is morally, acceptable. And when you live on the edge, you’ll eventually fall off. The Bible is clear. Don’t court temptations. Paul instructs us to flee sexual immorality (2 Cor. 6:8) and advises his protege, Timothy, to flee youthful lusts (2 Tim. 2:22). If you are approaching a potentially morally compromising situation then turn around 180° and run away. This may seem a negative instruction. But it demonstrates the urgency of the situation. One single compromise in the area of sex, money, or the misuse of power can completely disintegrate our reputation as leaders, permanently derail our ministry, and ultimately undermine the cause of the Gospel. We cannot even flirt with danger in this area. No! Don’t get distracted. Run from danger as fast as you can. Perhaps the best way to do this is to confess any moral challenges you are facing to a trusted friend and ask them to stand with you in prayer as you courageously maintain your focus on maintaining a godly lifestyle.
Recover Spiritual Practices A lot is being written about emotional and spiritual health for leaders. There are some great resources available. This is more than just having a so-called “quiet time”. Rather, it’s building spiritual disciplines in our lives to help us focus on what matters most, namely our relationship with Jesus. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all recipe for spiritual disciplines. It’s worth experimenting with different suggestions and models. What is clear is that this is a counter-cultural necessity to avoid getting caught up in what has been famously called the tyranny of the urgent (the title of Charles Hummel’s 1967 booklet, showing that this is not just a 21st-century problem). I particularly find the practices of journaling, listening to worship music, and prayer-walking extremely helpful. I enjoy occasional silence retreats and my wife and I have a daily reflective practice that we follow before going to bed. These spiritual rhythms help keep me focused on the Lord in the various stages of my day. What are the spiritual practices that you have found most helpful? Do you need to recover some of them into your daily rhythm of life, work, and leadership?
Establish a Digital Rule of Life Managing our online activity is a massive challenge for 21st-century leaders. Author and speaker John Mark Comer is a strong advocate for a digital rule of life. This is a way of taking control of our devices and online activity rather than being controlled by them. Again, this could be different for everyone, but a digital rule of life will determine when and how you access the internet, communications, social media etc. It may involve putting your phone to bed at a certain time, ensuring accountability with a trusted friend about your internet usage, or having a regular sabbath from all devices. No one seems to like living by rules, however, having a digital rule of life can be life-giving and ensure we are free from enslavement and addiction to our phones and laptops. Take some time to write some guidelines down for yourself. Revisit them regularly and prayerfully consider if you are in control of your devices or are they controlling and distracting you?
Consistent Reminders of our Calling I make no apologies for including this quote again as I feel it is key to maintaining our focus on what matters. Richard Blackaby has written:
“One of the keys to effective leadership today is staying focused on what God has called you to do. It’s easy to become so fixated on what others are doing (or not doing) that you fail to complete the assignment God has given you. As you get older, you may find that God reduces your commitments and activities so you have time to focus on your priorities. We need to invest not in what we can do but in what we must do.”
As leaders, we need to be able to clearly define our calling and to consistently remind ourselves of the assignment that God has given to us. It sounds so simple: we serve people best when we are serving within the things God has called us to do rather than the things we are not called to do. However, particularly for entrepreneurial Christian leaders, it’s easy to see so many gaps and opportunities. But before we pursue them, we need to be certain that it is something God is calling us into, otherwise it could be a costly distraction.
Care for your Soul My final piece of advice is to make sure you’re having fun. If life is getting too serious, then it might be that you are focusing on the wrong things or taking too much responsibility on your own shoulders. Jesus promised that his burden is easy and his yolk is light (Mt. 11:28-30). At The Message (the organisation I’m part of) we actively seek to not take ourselves too seriously. There needs to be space and room in our lives for fun and laughter. If it’s a long time since you belly-laughed or simply engaged in some frivolous fun, then perhaps it’s time to reconsider your priorities. To maintain a healthy perspective on life and stay focused for the long haul, we need to care for our souls.
The force of focus is critical if we are to be effective as servant leaders. Our ultimate focus is on loving God and loving others. However, even as we seek to do that, we can find that we get distracted by the tasks of leadership and our daily responsibilities. I hope this article has helped provoke thought and action that will enable you to focus on what matters most.
In 2016 my wife died suddenly and unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm aged 38 years of age. I was left with three children and a gaping hole in my heart. I have written about my journey through deep grief in my book Grief and Grace, Facing the Future I Didn’t Choose.
In reflecting on my journey, I have become surprised by how few Christian leaders write, speak, and preach on death, dying and grieving?
Other than at funerals, how many sermons do we hear on death? Just consider it. How many Bible studies, conferences, retreats, or concerts have you attended that have had death as their central theme? Yes, there are resources for those going through grief, but should we be waiting for disaster to happen before addressing the subject? Surely, as leaders, we need to be more proactive. Death is part of life which means it’s part of our discipleship. Therefore, we need to talk about death!
In particular, I believe that as Christian leaders we need to be equipping ourselves in this area. After all, this is a primary way in which our biblical perspective should stand out in a world of questions about suffering and death.
It seems to me that Christians give mixed messages when talking about death. We either super-spiritualise it and focus on the eternal hope we have at the expense of recognising the trauma that death does bring. Ultimately this can be an avoidance mechanism that prevents us from dealing with the grief of losing a loved one. Or we slump into despair, even to the extent of questioning our faith and the goodness of God.
The biblical perspective is not an either/or, but far more nuanced, holding these two extremes, super-spiritualisation and despair, in tension. The biblical perspective lies somewhere in the murkier space of balancing the hope we have that Jesus has conquered death, with the reality that death is a brutal invasion into our lives, one that God never intended for us.
If you are a Christian leader, then it is inevitable that there are two challenges you are going to face at some point in your leadership.
Firstly, the challenge of leading the grieving.
Whether the death of a loved one or another form of deep loss, the people we lead are grieving. As biblical leaders we cannot bury our heads in the sand and ignore the brokenness that people carry. The Bible is not reticent to speak about death. God has no issue with addressing the subject of death. In fact, one might argue that the Bible is given to us as God’s response to the challenge of death. The task at hand is to develop a robust biblical perspective so that we can compassionately care for those under our care who are grieving while sensitively directing people to the redeeming purposes of God. The bible gives us many examples of how not to do this (e.g. Job’s friends) as well as providing guidance on how to mourn with those who mourn (e.g. Jesus with Martha and Mary). Exploring scripture through the lens of uncovering how to lead the grieving is an important journey I encourage all leaders to take.
The second challenge is leading while grieving.
In 1 Peter 1:3, Peter glories in the living hope we have through Christ’s resurrection. In verses 4 and 5 he goes on to underline the promise of this new life, that it is an inheritance that can never spoil or fade and one that is protected by God himself. Nothing and no one can take it from us. Verse 6 starts with rejoicing, before giving us a reality check: ‘Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.’ Oh, Peter! Please can we skip that part? Wouldn’t it be nice if we could jump straight from salvation into glory? The implication is clear. No one is immune. As leaders who trust in God’s word, we must prepare ourselves that we too will face griefs of many kinds. This is where the rubber hits the road. How do we continue to lead when we are feeling the sting of death?
Clearly, there is a time when we need to step back and allow God to bring us a measure of healing. I took an extended break from my daily leadership responsibilities when my wife died. However, this phase quickly came to an end, and I needed to learn to lead even with a heavy heart.
George Matheson was a 19th-century pastor and hymn writer. Blind from his youth and having faced grief, loss, and disappointments of many kinds, he was a man who was familiar with the challenges of suffering. He wrote:
‘Many of us would tearlessly deal with our grief if only we were allowed to do it in private, yet what is so difficult is that most of us are called to exercise patience, not in a bed, but in the open street for all to see. We are called upon to bury our sorrows not in restful inactivity but in active service; in our workplace, while shopping and doing social events… No other way of bearing sorrow is as difficult as this, for it is truly what is meant by running with patience.’
Matheson is highlighting the challenge of navigating public and private grief. The only way we can manage this as leaders is to acknowledge that this is a challenge too difficult to bear and learn the same lesson that Jesus taught Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). From this perspective we can boldly state that the world needs to see grieving Christian leaders still lead! Grief does not disqualify us from leadership. Rather, persevering through grief can often result in Christian leaders having a greater impact because they lead from a place of weakness and full reliance on the grace of Jesus. This is counter-cultural, and entirely scriptural.
Having said that, a biblical perspective on grief leads me to understand that we are not meant to carry these burdens alone. The only way I could lead with a heavy heart was through the love and support of close friends who helped me practically and spiritually in numerous ways. As leaders we carry many burdens, including our grief, loss, and failings, therefore it’s imperative that we do not hide these away from others but have a community of praying believers who are standing with us and continually pointing us to Jesus. This is the only way we can still lead while we grieve.
This article has been written to help stimulate thought and conversation around the subject of death and grief. It is not intended to be exhaustive. However, I’d like to point you to my new book, Finding Life After Death: a biblical survivor’s guide which offers a hope-filled view on loss framed by the biblical themes of perspective, pain and purpose.
I find one of my most frustrating attributes is how easily distractable I am.
Whether it’s scrolling social media when I’ve set time aside for prayer and to read God’s Word. Or due to having multiple windows open on my PC and flitting from one thing to the next as I manage the various people/initiatives/projects that I’m involved with. Or just an over-active mind mulling over my to-do list so disturbing my family time and keeping me from restful sleep.
These are fairly superficial examples. There are more nefarious distractions that each of us faces. We can pursue a business opportunity that “seemed too good to be true” because it was! We’re asked to join a board or committee for something that seems a worthy cause but begins to pull us into multiple meetings that don’t fuel our passion. Even some relationships can be distractive as they absorb an inordinate amount of our emotional energy. We get distracted as we pursue multiple good things at the expense of relentlessly pursuing what we’re called to do.
This is something I constantly need to be reminded of. In a world of so much need and opportunity, I can’t be the answer to every problem. The danger is that if I try and accomplish too much, I won’t end up accomplishing anything effectively. As I’ve entered 2024 which promises to be one of my busiest years in quite some time, I’ve been reminded of the powerful force which is focus. And that I need to force myself to focus. That’s why focus is my word for the year.
This is primarily true in my Christian discipleship. I simply have to keep the main thing the main thing. My key Bible verse for 2024 is 2 Corinthians 4:2:
…we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God
The distractions we face as Christian leaders include a propensity to self-indulgence, the pursuit of popularity, and empire-building. These are very real threats that all Christian leaders face. And we’re not going to combat them by engaging in mind-over-matter, positive thinking, or pop-psychology. Our human psyche is far too weak and susceptible to sin. Rather, we need to focus on the truth of God’s word which reveals to us Jesus Christ, the perfect example of what godly leadership looks like. As we focus on him, then we are transformed into leaders who can reflect his glory (see 2 Corinthians 3:18).
And inasmuch as we focus on Jesus, so we become clear on what our calling and mandate is. As servant leaders, we serve our teams and our organisations by ensuring we don’t become distracted from our specific purpose. Father Gregory Boyle, founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, says: narrowness is the way… our choice is not to focus on the narrow, but to narrow our focus.1
These are the thoughts I’ve started 2024 with. To manage this busy year, I need to keep my focus. As you can imagine, the following words of Richard Blackaby struck me between the eyes when I read them on the Biblical Leadership website early in January:
“One of the keys to effective leadership today is staying focused on what God has called you to do. It’s easy to become so fixated on what others are doing (or not doing) that you fail to complete the assignment God has given you. As you get older, you may find that God reduces your commitments and activities so you have time to focus on your priorities. We need to invest not in what we can do but in what we must do.”2
I’m sure we all read this and agree with these sentiments. In a complex and busy world, we need to focus. But how do we put this into practice? How do we avoid the nefarious distractions that will cause us to invest our time, effort, and resources in the wrong things?
I’m open to suggestions!
But I’ll try and give some practical input on this in part 2 so watch this space!
