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Are you listening?

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Communication is a massive challenge for leaders. Always has been, always will be. One of the biggest issues many of us face is truly listening to people rather than simply waiting for a long enough pause for us to be able to spew out our opinions (and if a pause doesn’t come, we just butt in regardless). But something else is causing me concern about how we’re communicating in the technical age.

Every morning I listen to a talk-show radio station as I do the school-run. It used to be a phone-in station… you know the kind, people calling in to chat about the hot-topics. However, the trend now seems to be moving from phoning in to sending in voice-notes. I understand that this is an efficient form of communication. But the result is that I find myself listening to serial monologues of varied opinions rather than genuine conversation. The listener sends in their opinion, then, after listening to a few of these mini speeches, the DJ responds with their own monologue – always having the final word on the matter.

It seems like genuine conversation is dying a rapid death. The result is that there is less meaningful engagement and next to no accountability for one’s opinion. We already know this is true of social media. Are we in danger of devaluing all human interaction into this form of monologue? In my day to day work, I very rarely pick up the phone and make a call to chat through an issue with a colleague. We are more likely to trade voice notes in order to make arrangements or “discuss” an idea. Even in friendships, whole conversations can be recorded monologues rather than the ebb and flow of beautiful, robust, interactive conversation. And yes, it’s been compounded by lockdown, social distancing and mask-wearing.

I’ve been reflecting on this for some time, and then this quote came on my twitter-feed recently and punched me in the gut:

Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is Empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos, and live in another’s world.

Bill Bullard

That’s what I sense is missing from so much of our human interaction… empathy. The danger of serial monologues is that it re-enforces us in our different opinions rather than leading us on a road to greater understanding and empathy with someone who, for various reasons, may be different to us. The final destination of this pathway is that we dehumanise people. My friend and colleague, Ben Jack, writes:

Dehumanisation is the rejection of empathy, the destruction of compassion, the superiority of self, the physical, emotional or spiritual killing of another”

Hectic! The reality is, we can’t empathise with someone unless we take the time to listen to them. This particularly needs to apply to those of us who aspire to be servant leaders. We can’t serve our team if we are not seeking to converse with them in a way that ignites empathy within us.

Empathy and understanding always begins with listening. Listening is a vital component of building trust which is essential if we are to foster a supportive and loving environment in which people can flourish. This is not simply listening to people in order to hear their complaints, and then carrying on with business as usual. It is attentive, active and intentional.

Attentive listening means being willing to take time out from your busy schedule and spend time with an individual in order to hear their heart, understand their passion, and engage deeply with them. Attentive listening includes listening to what someone is saying in meetings, presentations and informal conversations. Attentive listening requires a commitment to single-tasking; focusing on the moment and eliminating other distractions [yes – I’m preaching to myself here – check out this post I’ve written previously!]

Active listening means engaging with people on subjects that are of interest to them. It involves asking good questions and not always seeking to interrupt with your own opinion. It means delving more deeply, being willing to debate issues or matters, and recognising that we, as leaders, can learn from the other person’s perspective.

Intentional listening means that, as you engage with someone, you are also considering how to respond to the information you are receiving. It means prayerfully reflecting on what someone has shared with you with the intention of considering how you can further develop and empower them to fulfil their potential.

It is impossible to serve others unless we have empathy. We cannot experience empathy unless we are truly listening. So, it stands to reason, we need to listen in order that we can serve and in order that we can lead with empathy.

So here’s a challenge for today. Instead of sending a voice-note to someone, why not pick up the phone or walk over to someone’s desk, and start a good old-fashioned conversation.

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    Leadership Myth-Busting #9: The end justifies the means

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    In this series of articles I seek to critique various myths of leadership that seem to be the prevailing attitude and approach of many leaders in the 21st century. The standard against which they are critiqued is the example of servant leadership as exhibited by Jesus Christ.

    For many leaders, leadership is all about the results. CEOs are judged by the bottom line; pastors by bums on seats, and sports coaches by the last score-line. The problem with the success-based paradigm of leadership (an article for another day), is that the pressure to perform can be the precursor to compromise. If we are purely judged by our results, then leaders can rightly assert that the end justifies the means.

    Many of us who play sports have experienced the temptation to cheat a little in order to get an advantage. Go on, admit it. On the football pitch you may have pulled someone’s shirt. Or on the tennis court you called a ball out when you know it clipped the line. In golf you may have been economical with the truth as you tot up your shots on the scorecard.

    Is it really wrong? Or is it only wrong if you get caught?

    You may argue these things are petty and part of sport… it’s just gamesmanship. Perhaps you’re right. But isn’t it the win-at-all-costs mentality that leads sportsmen and women towards more serious infringements like ball-tampering, brown envelopes before a game and performance enhancing drugs? When does gamesmanship become something more sinister?

    I have a friend in the US who has written extensively on a Christ-centred ethic of participation in sport. He says of sports people who deliberately break the rules in order to gain an advantage that:

    “In essence they also base their morality on humanistic pragmatism. They do whatever it takes to win. They communicate by their actions that winning is much more important than any standard of morality.”

    Greg Linville

    Wow – what a challenge to us for the next time we’re tempted to cheat. Through our actions we’re communicating that winning is more important to us than a standard of morality. That’s a high bar. But it sounds like the kind of high bar we need to apply to our leadership if we claim to be followers of Jesus Christ. The bottom line is, if we take the win at all costs approach into the rest of life, it can compromise our testimony and witness as followers of Jesus. After all, didn’t he say that the first shall be last and the last first (Matthew 20:16)? Doesn’t this turn the win at all costs mentality completely on it’s head?

    I believe that, as leaders, we need to be very careful that we don’t subtly buy into the ends justify the means mentality. If we claim to follow Jesus then we can’t sacrifice our values upon the altar of humanistic pragmatism. Our actions can easily convey the message that success is more important than any standard of morality.

    In the 16th century, Teresa of Avila wrote the following:

    “However good the deed, one must never do the least wrong in performing it.”

    Teresa of Avila

    In that simple statement, the godly nun has single-handedly exposed that the end justifies the means is a myth of good leadership! Not only does the end not justify wrong deeds, but good intentions are not sufficient excuse for deliberately doing something that is morally questionable.

    Often when we think about the phrase the end justifies the means we apply it to downright wrong things like corruption, bribery or other such nefarious tactics. However, the pressure upon leaders to perform can push them to adopt a win at all costs mentality that has a more subtly destructive impact. Yes, we may not take bribes, cheat on taxes, or break the law. Yet a primary way we expose our susceptibility to this attitude is in how we treat other people. This includes those closest to us – particularly our families who can be harmed as we ambitiously pursue our goals. And it extends to our our employees/staff/colleagues who can become expendable pawns that serve our unabated pursuit of success.

    I know I’ve been guilty of making mistakes in this area. As a goal-oriented, visionary leader, it’s easy to make accomplishing our vision of paramount importance at the expense of other critical things – like people and relationships. There are countless sad stories of seemingly successful leaders who have accomplished great things for their organisation, but at the cost of their marriage, relationship with their children and their own health. Dig a little deeper, and you also find that their teams are toxic, full of people vying for position as they trample over one another trying to ascend the corporate ladder and curry favour with their boss. Sometimes people get hurt because we are too caught up in our activity to see that they are suffering. Hurt people will eventually buckle or lash out, damaging others in their wake.

    Being goal-oriented is not a bad thing. However, if achieving goals becomes our obsession, then we are on a slippery slope to potentially adopting ungodly means in order to attain our ambitions. Ultimately, this becomes an issue of character. If we compromise our character, then we will begin to excuse behaviour that is driven primarily by our ego rather than seeking the good of others.

    Stacy Rinehart in his wonderful book, Upside Down, provides the following corrective to this style of leadership:

    “The heart of spiritual leadership, then, is serving people – looking out for what is best for them rather than using them as the means to a larger end.”

    Stacy Rinehart

    That is the key to avoiding pitfalls in this area – particularly in relation to sacrificing relationships on the altar of our success. Leaders need to ask themselves if we are looking out for the best interests of those around us, and this includes our families, colleagues, board members, shareholders, customers, beneficiaries etc. This is putting into practice the advice of the Apostle Paul who said, Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4.

    Rinehart then takes it a step further by giving a definition of success that is beyond the bottom line, bums on seats, winning score-line metric.

    “The question is not ‘Does the leader have followers [or any other form of success]?’ but rather, ‘Does the Lord have followers as a result of the leader’s influence?’”

    Stacy Rinehart

    This completely changes the perspective. There is a righteous end that all Christ-following leadership should be pursuing; that God is glorified because people are faithfully following Him. If our ultimate motivation for leadership is to impact people’s spiritual well-being, then it stands to follow that we cannot justify ungodly means in pursuing that goal.

    Simply put, don’t compromise your character in pursuit of success. When we compromise our character, then we risk negatively impacting those around us. No end is a cause on which to sacrifice your character.

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    Leadership Myth-busting #8… first in, last to leave

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    It’s been a while since I’ve posted on leadership myth-busting. This is where I try and examine certain leadership mantra’s or practices that perhaps do not align with Jesus’ model of leadership… or are simply unhelpful to sustain leadership for the long-term. Please check out some of the previous posts in the series by clicking here…

    So the Covid reality has given us a chance to reflect on practices that were perhaps standard fare for organisational leaders, but – in hindsight – were, frankly, quite weird. I’ve been doing some reading about our addiction to busyness and the importance of getting a better balance to life, work and ministry. There’s some great material out there… two recent best-sellers are Peter Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Leadership and Marc John Comer’s The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I’ve also been delving into some of Dallas Willard’s writing – which is ridiculously challenging (e.g. see this post I wrote). And then this comment by Frank Viola hits where it hurts:

    ‘Don’t be deceived. Busyness is a myth. We all make time for what matters most to us’ (Viola 2018:429).

    There are different dimensions to the myth of busyness… and what I want to expose here is one that I bought in to during my early years of leadership (and perhaps is so ingrained that I’m struggling to shake it off). It’s simply the myth that leaders should be first in, and last to leave. Maybe millennials won’t struggle with this – but I think it’s something of a subconscious maxim for Gen X leaders. The myth is that we should be at our desks and begin being furiously productive before anyone else gets to work… and then we should still be poring over reports, making phone calls, and demonstrating great commitment to the cause long after everyone else has clocked out. Watch any TV show or movie that features a workaholic leader and they will be depicted in this peri-heroic way… sacrificing personal pleasure (and wellbeing) on the altar of success and productivity.

    The logic behind the myth is perhaps two-fold… we’re leaders so we must demonstrate and model an impeccable work ethic. And we’re leaders, so we need to justify the higher salary we receive and put in the extra hours to demonstrate our true worth. It seems synonymous with the so-call protestant work ethic… that hard work and self-sacrifice are the true ingredients for success. And one key way that this is demonstrated is through being first in, and last to leave.

    Perhaps the motives are more pernicious? I would suggest (from my own experience) it’s a combination of pride and addiction. We like to boast about the long hours we slave at the office and we are addicted to the pursuit of success, even when it comes at a high price. Maybe, at its most insidious, this all stems from a god-complex! We feel we can run our organisation, control our world, and wield power – all from behind our desk.

    However, when we think about this rationally, it’s actually ludicrous. What are we thinking? And what are we modelling to others?? We think being first in and last out models commitment, hard work and the self-sacrifices needed to be successful. But how about we model something different? Can we not be leaders that are committed to other priorities such as family, leisure, church, relationships, serving others, community involvement? Shouldn’t we be making time and space for a multi-dimensional life rather than being chained to the desk?

    Now, we know that Jesus didn’t have a 9-5 desk job, but he does give an example of pursuing a balanced and healthy approach to life. Yes, he worked hard, but he also retreated from the crowds in order to be refreshed and listen to God. He took time to hang out with friends, attend weddings and parties, and spent plenty of time outdoors. A quick read through the action-packed gospel of Mark and you can see Jesus’ leadership was not one-dimensional.

    Maybe a post-covid world will break this myth. But, I’m not so sure. Perhaps they’ll be a danger of simply reverting to type. (Or maybe working virtually will completely blur the lines and cause other challenges – but that can be a discussion for another time).

    So, whether you have already returned to your office – or intend to in the near future, maybe you need to join me in trying to do something radical. If you’re first in, be the first to leave. And if I’m not first in, that’s fine! I can make my contribution within my contracted hours, and happily leave my desk knowing I’ve given my best and still have energy left to also give my best in other areas of my life.

    Peter Scazerro writes this:

    “Limits are often simply God’s gifts in disguise. This makes them one of the most counterintuitive, difficult truths in Scripture to embrace. It flies in the face of our natural tendency to want to play god and run the world” (Scazerro 2015:205).

    When we buy into the first in, last to leave myth, we are in danger of operating beyond the limits that God has put in place. Perhaps if we seek to honour those limits, we will find we can be more productive and sustain good leadership performance for the long haul.

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    Leadership Myth Busting #4… “full time ministry”

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    I’ve now been in paid Christian work for over 20 years. Initially, I worked in two churches as a ‘youth pastor’ but have since been leading missional organisations (registered as Christian non-profit organisations). I have, therefore, been employed in what is commonly called ‘full-time ministry’. Yet, the longer I’ve been doing what I do, the more I’ve come to realise the dangers of the distinction between those in ‘ministry’ and other classifications of Christians.

    The myth that there are varying degrees of Christian ministry is one that needs to be busted. The danger of the concept of ‘full-time ministry’ can be particularly pernicious when related to leadership. There is a double power-whammy when secular approaches to leadership are coupled with a hierarchy of Christian ministry. This toxic mix can result in Christian professionals who are paid to perform Christian duties on behalf of a consumerist Christian culture. Over hundreds of years of the church, this has resulted in a distinction between what is termed the ‘laity’ and those in “ministry’. This separation causes some to ‘sit and soak’, while others are expected to ‘stand and deliver’.

     I believe Peter helps explode the myth that some are in ministry and some aren’t when he wrote: As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. (1 Peter 4:10 NKJV).

     Let’s break this down by asking some questions:

    Who has received a gift? Everyone. Not just church leaders, missionaries, or any other form of paid Christian worker. The implication is everyone has been given a unique gift – something given by God for the purpose to serve others. Not the chosen few. Everyone!

     What is the purpose of the gift? It is to minister to others. The gift is to be employed in the service of others… that’s what ministry is. One Christian simply serving another person.

     What is the ultimate purpose of ministry? Peter says that each person is then required to be a good steward of their gift, through which they are revealing the grace of God. When we grab a towel and serve others, we are demonstrating the ‘multi-faceted grace’ of God (as the Amplified Bible puts it).

     The conclusion is that ministry is not about position, professional or otherwise. It is all about service. When we serve we are in ministry… nothing more, nothing less. All of us. Title or no title. Qualifications or no qualifications. New believers or mature elder. Those that serve are in ministry, and those in ministry are those who serve!

     Christians have continued to create a divide between the so-called laity and clergy, the sacred and the secular. Frank Viola argues that “the term ‘laity’ is one of the worst in the vocabulary of religion and ought to be banished from the Christian conversation….” Likewise, AW Tozer exploded the myth of dichotomy between what is sacred and secular. He wrote: “It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it. The motive is everything.” Therefore, the person serving in their work-place is performing an equally ‘sacred’ role as a full-time pastor (or other paid Chrisitan worker), if their motive is to bring pleasure to God

     Paul sums up the heart and motive of what true ministry is when he wrote to the church in Colossae, He said, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Col.3:17). The key word here is whatever. In the Bible, there is no limitation on what is considered ministry and what is considered something else. As believers, everything we do is a function of our ministry and calling to serve the Lord.

     One of my favourite quotes on this subject is from Stacy Rinehart who wrote in his book Upside Down,

    Ministry is not a task, program, or production. It is an act of worship by people who acknowledge that God’s great mercy has redeemed them for the purpose of relationship with Him, for sacrifice, and for service to others.

     Of course, the terms ‘being in ministry’ and ‘full-time ministry’ have become entrenched in our language and will probably remain that way. However, we need to be careful of the assumptions that are being perpetuated through the language we use. It is a myth that there are different classes of Christians. It is a myth that those of us who receive salaries because we are in some form of Christian employment are more qualified to minister than anyone else. Everybody is in full-time ministry! God has uniquely called and equipped every follower of Christ to serve others. There is a distinct purpose and role for every believer.

    And as leaders we need to be especially careful that we don’t reinforce the ‘full-time ministry’ myth through our words or actions. The best way to do this is to grab a towel and ensure that we assume the posture of a servant… recognising that our ministry, as leaders, is to enable others to flourish. Our primary goal is to help others serve God more effectively as they discover their calling, gifts and purpose. Therefore, my job as a leader within a Christian non-profit organisation is to provide a platform for as many people as possible to discover that they are in full time ministry as servants of the Lord.

     How about you – how are you expressing your call to full-time ministry?

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    Detoxing my heart

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    The Message Trust international CEO, Andy Hawthorne, often recounts a story about Salvation Army founder, William Booth. During a period when the burgeoning global organisation was particularly strapped for cash, Booth had limited resources with which to send his regular telegram to the Salvation Army ‘troops’ around the world. As sending a telegram was charged by the letter, Booth sent a message that encapsulated the foundational purpose of the movement – OTHERS.

    Focusing on others is a critical hallmark of Christ-centred servant leadership. In Grab a Towel, I write that servant leaders put people before projects, programmes and profit. Servant leadership both focuses on loving God and loving people. The two are intrinsically linked.

    This past week I was on a leadership retreat and was once again challenged in this area. Do I genuinely put people first in my own life and calling?

    You see, there is an insidious threat to Christian leaders that looks like we’re putting people first, but it is actually the antithesis of servant leadership. Rather than putting people first, we succumb to the disease of being a people -pleaser.

    The people-pleasers’ existence and purpose is wrapped up in what people think of us. The orientation of a people pleaser is self-centred, rather than other-centred. As someone who is prone to being a people-pleaser, I realise that it comes with a parallel track… that of being an affirmation addict. Again, rather than living to serve, we live for the applause. Instead of focusing on God and serving others out of love, we become addicted to affirmative words and actions from those we are influencing. We crave for other people to love and accept us, fuelling our own ego and using other people to make us feel good about ourselves. As mentioned, this is the very antithesis to the example of Christ who lay aside his status, rights and entitlement to be worshipped, in order to show us the love of God.

    I believe it is almost impossible for leaders who are people-pleasers and/or affirmation addicts to genuinely put people first. The heart that longs for affirmation is in danger of becoming a toxic environment that contaminates it from genuinely being able to love and serve other people.

     So what is the remedy? It’s impossible to give an exhaustive list… but here are some pointers I find helpful in order to detox my heart.

    I would suggest the first step is some introspection – the kind of opportunity that I had this week. Taking time out is sometimes the only way to allow God to assess the condition of our heart. We can only love other people if we are willing to ask some hard questions of ourselves. Deep questions about our ultimate motivations and sense of well-being – do we lead in order to fulfill our own needs and inadequacies – or are we genuinely seeking to love others? Alongside this introspection, we need to confess and repent – firstly to God, and quite possibly to some people that have been hurt by our toxicity.

    The next step is to come back to Christ and remind ourselves of his affirmation of us: he loved me enough to die for me. He values me, considers me his friend, and is pleased with me. When my toxic heart takes me away from this sense of security in Him, then I need to ask Jesus to do some heart surgery… to remove my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. I find that when I invite him to do this, he does it with a love and tenderness that brings me to a point of restoration.

    A further step is to remind yourself that, as a Christ-centred servant leader, this is not about how strong your determination is, exerting your will-power, or a matter of self-motivation. Rather, it’s all about submission to the Holy Spirit. God knows that, left to our own, we cannot faithfully love Him or others. He has, therefore, provided us with the inner-power necessary to genuinely overcome our people-pleasing orientation and our affirmation addiction through filling us with his Holy Spirit. The good news is that the Holy Spirit is still the empowering personality that enables 21st century servant leaders to love people with the love of Christ.

    The final prompting I had this past week was a reminder of the key role that listening plays to be an effective servant leader. Christ-centred servant leaders take genuine interest in other people. The discipline of listening opens up our hearts to hearing the soul-cry of other people. This fuels our love, empathy, prayers and ability to serve. Listening is therefore a critical ingredient if we are to put people before projects, programmes and profit… to genuinely grab a towel and serve others!

    Keep Your Head

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    I recently introduced my teenage boys to one of my favourite films – The Matrix. Released in 1999, the film describes a future in which reality perceived by humans is actually the Matrix, a simulated world created by machines in order to pacify and subdue the human population. Upon learning this, computer programmer,Neo, is drawn into a rebellion against the machines.

    There’s a scene in The Matrix where Neo first enters the computer-generated world and is learning to live counter to what he has been programmed his whole life. He is with his mentor, Morpheus, and they are walking against the tide of hundreds of people on a city’s streets. Morpheus, overcoming the confines of his mind, is able to walk without bumping into anyone – parting the proverbial Red Sea of people. Neo, on the other hand, bumps into everybody and is unable to avoid all the tide of people in his path.

    I believe that the experience of a Christ-centred servant leader is more like Neo’s experience than Morpheus’s. In Grab a Towel I argue that servant leadership is counter-cultural to the norms of leadership prevalent in the West today. The reality is that servant leaders have to go against the flow of contemporary wisdom and cultural norms. But going against the flow inevitably means encountering obstacles and opposition. The task of Christ-centred servant leadership means going against the tide of popular opinion, standing up for righteousness, and calling others to do the same. This is a call that will inevitably result in opposition and criticism. At times, it will unavoidably lead servant leaders to question their sanity. It is a bumpy and tumultuous road. Jesus called it carrying our cross – the cross being the ultimate symbol of self-sacrifice and self-denial.

    In his second letter to Timothy, Paul gives these words, “Keep your head in all situations” (2 Timothy 4:5) Keep your head! Don’t lose the plot; don’t succumb to the temptations that periods of intense stress and opposition bring. Seek to remain calm under pressure. Maintain your poise. Guthrie says we are to “cultivate unruffled alertness.” I like that… the equal and opposite dangers in times of immense pressure is that we “zone out” or we “stress out.” Rather, we need to find the middle ground where we are alert to the dangers, but continue to keep our cool and navigate the storms with faith, hope and love.

    The wonderful Rudyard Kipling poem, “If” opens with the words, “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you…” It is a big and important “If” because the damage can be disastrous if we lose our heads. Leaders who rant or sulk, leaders who are inconsistent, leaders who are prone to losing their temper; these leaders break the trust of their followers. And trust is a priceless commodity, particularly when navigating difficult waters. The leader that keeps their head, and who maintains dignity and poise, gains the confidence of those in their care and will have their influence elevated as a result. 

    When everything seems to be falling apart; when going against the flow takes you into turbulent waters; when the people you lead are beginning to feel disconcerted and under threat… then, keep your head! That is the way to serve others. Cultivate unruffled alertness! Avoid flapping. Don’t panic. Grab a Towel and remember why you are doing what you’re doing. Keeping the bigger picture in mind will enable you to keep your head and face the challenges you are facing with dignity and poise… a Christ-like quality that should be a hallmark of leaders following in his footsteps.

    This post has been adapted from a section of my first book, The Pace Setter. Click here to order on Kindle or contact us to order a physical copy.

    Grabbing towels in 2018

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    Grab a Towel was launched in May 2018. The book has primarily been sold in South Africa. But it’s been great to make the book available in other formats so that it’s available around the world… please check out amazon.com for the Ebook and Audio book version. We also launched our social media pages @grabatowelbook… you can visit on Facebook and Twitter. We’ve been encouraged by the interest in becoming Christ-centred servant leaders. Tim Tucker has spoken at over 30 events on servant leadership, and conducted courses with churches and small groups. The new interaction guide and video series will be available early in 2019… so please click here and contact us for more information or to give us your feedback

    Perhaps the key point of Grab a Towel that has resonated with people is the simple lesson that ‘leaders are not superheroes who fix problems, but Christ-focused servants who lead people to Jesus’ (p. 147). The images below are of the Grab a Towel journey this year that has introduced us to many amazing people who are grabbing towels and seeking to become Christ-centred servant leaders. We look forward to continuing this journey with you in 2019.

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    Raising Urban Heroes: Identify, Platform, Mission

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    Below is an extract of a speech that I gave at The Message Trust’s Urban Hero Awards (click here for more info on the event). The Awards celebrated stories of transformation and told the stories of men and women who, against all odds, are now exerting a positive influence in society. Having turned their backs on gangsterism and crime, these incredible young people are now positive role models. This speaks to the heart of what Grab a Towel is all about… providing an environment for emerging leaders to flourish in faith and life, which is an ultimate act of service.

    What you have seen tonight are stories that don’t make the headlines. These Urban Heroes are not the normal narrative we hear about South Africa. What you are seeing here is a reversal of the negative impact of gang activity that affects all of us who live in Cape Town… but particularly those who live in our vulnerable communities.

    You see, the gangs have a strategy…

     They identify youth at risk… they prey upon school children – even in our playgrounds. Young people who are vulnerable, without positive role models, and seeking identity. Gangs provide pseudo security in a dangerous world.

    Then the gangs provide a platform… the gangs give young people a place to belong – where they feel accepted – even a family. But it is a family with a sting in the tale as they are told – there is one way in, and no way out.

    Ultimately, gangs want to get young people on mission… to fight their turf wars, deal their drugs and commit their crimes. These missions provide them with rank and status that entangle young people more deeply into the gang culture – trapped, addicted, lost.

     As I said, what you’ve seen tonight is a reversal of the strategy of the gangs… at The Message, we also have a strategy:

    We identify potential in young people. We will go to vulnerable communities, prisons, gang-infested areas, and call that potential to life through the Gospel. We believe every young person has the potential to turn their life around like Mt, Melissa, Xola and the others have done.

    We provide a platform for these young people to flourish in faith and life. Through our creative mission, community transformation and Christ-centred enterprise programmes, we provide an environment that reverses the negative impact of the gangs through ongoing discipleship.

    Finally, we get young people on a mission. This is the true measure of our success… when those we’ve impacted become transformational leaders and role models– starting a ripple effect of transformation across this city.

    And this is our dream. To scale the impact of what you’ve seen this evening as we continue to empower young people who were once the problem, but now have discovered the answer – and his name is Jesus Christ.

    Xola won the overall Urban Hero award. He is a young man who epitomises what it means to be a transformational leader. Click here to check out a short video of his story here.

    The challenge for all of us is to Grab a Towel and serve the next generation of leaders through identifying, providing a platform, and mobilising them for mission.

    Xola and Sheldon, two of the award winners at the event.Xola and Sheldon, two of the award winners at the event.
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    Taking serving seriously (by Andy Hawthorne)

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    We live in the age of personal branding and self-promotion… where people are serious about making a name for themselves. How, as Christian leaders, do we avoid the temptation of pride and selfish ambition that can so easily ensnare us?

    The following extract is from the book ‘Being the Message’ where Andy Hawthorne (International CEO of The Message Trust) advocates that, in order to avoid the danger of being a people-pleaser, we need to take serving seriously and focus on following the example of Christ…

    Jesus was the perfect role model of living for an ‘audience of One.’ Surely, as the person who spoke the whole earth into being, it would have been reasonable for him to expect a bit of service and respect when he became flesh and visited the planet he had made! But instead, he constantly took on the role of a servant, even washing his disciples’ smelly feet as an example that we should follow, and teaching that will be blessed if we can be similarly servant-hearted. I want to experience the kind of blessing that comes from having that favour of God on my life. I believe that comes as we take the gospel seriously – but not ourselves.

    Michael Baughen is a former Bishop of Chester, and as such would have all kinds of people address him as ‘Lord Bishop’ and other fancy titles. He admitted that he also quite liked dressing up in the outrageous bishops’ robes (which to be fair, are about as far from the Carpenter of Nazareth’s garb as you could possibly get). So in order to keep himself grounded, he would always keep a small piece of towel in his pocket to remind him that he was here to serve and not be served, and that he, as the leader, needed to constantly work out what it looked like to wash other disciples’ feet.

    I get the feeling that the reason that Jesus was able to say of John the Baptist that ‘among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater’ (Matthew 11:11), was because he didn’t believe his hype that he was the new Elijah or the prophet they had all been waiting for. John’s life and ministry were defined by his conviction that ‘He [Jesus] must become greater, I must become less’ (John 3:30). Indeed, when it was time to give away two of his own disciples to Jesus’ ministry, namely Simon and Andrew, he did so unhesitatingly…

    The Message is home to some incredibly talented and creative mission teams who often perform in front of large numbers of screaming young people. Even though the object of these gigs is always to create a clear platform for the gospel, there will still be a number of these young people who love to tell our bands for hours after how awesome they are, whilst desperately seeking selfies and autographs. This little bit of fame can actually be very bad for the soul, and unless the guys and girls are really rooted in Jesus, they can start slipping down the slope of pride. We simply can’t afford for this to happen. The Bible repeatedly says that God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble – and I know for sure which one I want.

    Reference:

    Andy Hawthorne, Being the Message (2017), p. 60-62. Available from https://shop.message.org.uk/product/being-the-message/ or see https://amazon.com/author/timtucker

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    Why Grab a Towel?

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    A common question I’ve been asked since releasing Grab a Towel is, ‘why did you write the book?’ Clearly asking why is always a great question before embarking on an enterprise or project. Simon Sinek has written a book called Start with Why, and argues that knowing why we do something engenders the passion necessary to motivate action and change.

    So maybe it will help you to understand why I wrote Grab a Towel and encourage you to not only read the book, but consider how the concepts in the book should not remain words on a page, but motivate you towards action and change.

    Why I’ve written the book can be summarised under three headings:

    1.       Provoke a conversation

    In spite of the plethora of leadership books, courses, conferences and even graduate study programmes, there appears to be a dearth of exemplary leadership. In Grab a Towel I’ve grappled with the question, ‘what kind of leaders does God want us to be?’ This question provides a foundation for a second question, ‘what kind of leaders are worth following?’ Ultimately, Jesus Christ is the central character and hero of the book… providing an example for servant leaders to follow. Grab a Towel considers the model Jesus has given us and has been written with the intention to spark dialogue and interaction to enable his followers to develop a biblically based philosophy that can shape their approach to leadership.

    2.       Provide a critique

    It doesn’t take depth of research to recognise that we are faced with huge leadership challenges in the 21st Century. Umar Haque says, ‘We need a new generation of leaders. And we need it now… Leadership – true leadership – is a lost art’. I agree!

    I live, serve and work in South Africa, and the country is reeling from a regime of self-interest and corruption that has permeated the leadership structures in this country. Clearly, a critique of contemporary leadership is required. Grab a Towel provides a metaphor for servant leadership that enables us to question, and reject, the prevalent leadership culture that drives pragmatic leaders towards unethical practices due to an “ends justifies the means” approach to leadership. I wrote Grab a Towel to present a biblical alternative that may empower Christians to have the courage to stand as an example that there is another way.

    3.       Present a context

    Finally, Grab a Towel is written within a specific context – my own journey of leading The Message Trust in South Africa. We are an organisation that seeks to identify leadership potential where others don’t see it… in former gang members and ex-offenders… and in young people seemingly trapped in tough neighbourhoods. Together with my team, we seek to provide an environment for emerging leaders to flourish in faith and in life. That is our context… and Grab a Towel presents the lessons I’ve been learning.

    But what is your context? Leadership does not happen in a vacuum. Ultimately, I have written Grab a Towel to help you grapple with how you can become a Christ-centred servant leader within your environment… and, if the book in some ways helps you serve God better, then I’ve accomplished my why!

    References:

    Simon Sinek https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action

    Umar Haque https://hbr.org/2013/07/how-and-why-to-be-a-leader-not

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